Wednesday 30 January 2013

Just Love, That's All

There's an old lady I know (in her 90's) who's a very unhappy person.  She has been unhappy her whole life, which of course is a great tragedy.  Now that she's in assisted living, with her body breaking down and dementia taking over her mind, she pretty much just wants to check out.  For as long as I've known this person, she has never been able to express love in a natural, authentic way.  She grew up thinking she wasn't lovable, and certain close family ties didn't give her reason to think otherwise.  Her way of covering up her believed lack of lovability has been to close down through judging others and immersing herself in superficial, material concerns.

Obviously, it isn't very enjoyable to spend much time hanging around with someone like that, and I have no doubt that her strategies for protecting herself served to drive the early conditioned belief structure even deeper.  There's nothing that isn't sad about a life lived in this way.

I wrote a thank-you letter to this old lady after Christmas.  I found myself telling her about my book, but in language she might be able to understand.  When I reread what what is written in the letter, it seems full of cliches, and yet it's all true!  Who knows?  Maybe it will reach her in such a way that she'll feel inspired to knock on the door of her neighbour down the hall, just to say "hi."  Maybe a little flame will flicker in her heart, even for a fleeting moment.  Maybe life won't seem so bad for a day or so.

 
Dear [Old Lady in my Life],

This note comes full of gratitude for your Christmas thoughts and wishes, and I’ll take the opportunity to tell you a bit about what I’ve been up to these days!

Well, I’m officially a self-published author.  I wrote a book called The Selfward Facing Way, which is the fruit of my many years of meditation practice.  It’s basically encouragement for people to let go of all their problems and to not complain about anything, because life is a precious and beautiful gift.  For those of us who have shelter, clothing and food on the table we are very lucky and blessed in our lifetimes.  We are certainly much better off than most of the world’s people, who for all kinds of reasons do not have the ability to fulfill these most essential of human needs.  

We are also very privileged to have love in our family.  Most people don’t recognize how loved they are, which is a great tragedy!  Because they think they are unloved, they don’t reach out with all the love that is in them to give... an even bigger tragedy!  We can naturally and freely give love—to our families and our neighbours and everyone around us—and by giving love we never lose a thing.  In fact, the more love we give the more love we FEEL, which means if we once thought we weren’t lovable, we get to prove ourselves wrong.  We can learn that when we give love to others, we are actually giving it to ourselves!  That’s a fabulous opportunity, no matter what age you are.  And you don’t have to be afraid, because love’s “job” is to destroy all fear.  So we can trust it with all our might.

People have all kinds of excuses not to give love, like:
“But I am in pain.”
“But so-and-so hurt me.”
“But I don’t know how.

But, but, but!  All these but’s are really just boring excuses to not give (and thereby receive) LOVE.

Love is the only thing that makes life worthwhile.  The only reason that each one of us is here on this Earth is to love, no matter what our life circumstances and no matter what happened to us in the past.  No circumstance or happening is a barrier to our ever-present capacity for loving.  Love has no restrictions or boundaries.  The fact that we are is actually perfect evidence of love’s existence.  So all we have to do is share what we already are.  That’s what makes life so simple, if we allow it by letting love guide our precious moments, and this is essentially the theme of my book.

The photos are of me with my percussion band.  I play shaker and bells.  We get invited to community marches and outdoor festivals to share our African, Cuban and Brazilian rhythms.  We’re quite well known here in Victoria.  Wherever we play, people love to dance!

The photo of Mom & me was taken recently by 4-year old [niece] at the airport when I was coming back to the Island.  She captured a beautiful moment!

Love you, [Old Lady].  I will come to see you in 2013...     Sal xo    


 

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